I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is classic penis vs brain.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
