"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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