About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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