We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize