i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
