No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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