My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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