Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
