I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Buhtt sex?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
