in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
