Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
