"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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