Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
