i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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