We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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