are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
