Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
