Define "chronic" masturbator.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
