tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
