Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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