Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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