The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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