just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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