I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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