it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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