This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
