it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
