Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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