He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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