HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
