Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
