STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
