Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is Oprah even human
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