lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
