So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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