there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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