I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
