She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
