3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sext me about skeletons
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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