Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize