god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I puked a lego.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
