I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
