Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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