is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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