I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
