Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
