The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
that may or may not have been my penis.
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