I haven't been this sober since birth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
They have beer where we have blood.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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