Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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