Plan B is the new Plan A
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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