Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
