people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
