somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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