I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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