He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
