Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
