now i know why i became what i already was.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
