Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
