Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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