I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
