think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
