and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
