weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am spending my child support on dildos
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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